Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I almost gave up.

Really. I almost did. Saturday night was lousy. J* had the fever and I just couldn't let him scream, so I laid down with him. He fell asleep OK with me there, but woke several times during the night. Yes, I stayed with him, um, you know, b/c of the fever.

Sunday night, we were at the inlaws late watching the Giants game, and he fell asleep in the car on the way home, and stayed asleep when I carried him in, so that night doesn't count.

Last night, I almost bagged it b/c I was alone again, and Cooper was cranky and had a cough. I thought Cooper was asleep at 8pm and went to read J* his night time stories, but Coop kept waking. I kept leaving J* in his bed to tend to Cooper, and J* did the standard crying he did when I started this whole CIO thing. I unintentionally let him cry for 30 while feeding Cooper, so when I went back up to check on him, he was ready to sleep. I sat for a minute while he stopped crying, and I said I'd be back when Cooper was done, but . . . he fell asleep!

I was in Cooper's room holding him and rocking in the glider as he fell asleep in my arms. I realized this was the first time I rocked him in that glider since he was BORN! I am so consumed with J* at night, that hubby has put Cooper down almost every night. I've never even had the CHANCE to rock Cooper. Here he is, now 4 1/2 months . . . my last baby . . . and I just held him for so long watching him sleep in my arms.

J* needs to sleep on his own for his own good. Its time. I need him to, so I don;t go mad. And Cooper needs him to also, so he can be a baby and be rocked by Mommy.

So, I didn't give up after all. My boys both need attention, and they both will get it.


Ali said...

I know it will work out for you, but it is just going to be a struggle to get there. All I can say is hang in there. I will work out...eventually! You now have the incentive of rocking that sweet little baby.

azjenn said...

It's hard to balance two at times. Keep with the sleep training with Jax, it will work. Soon they'll both be in bed STTN and you will be rested!