Sunday, July 29, 2007

Silly me!

Note to self: NEVER watch a TV program about adoption when 35+ weeks pg and extremely hormonal!!! (kind of silly to make a note to myself, b/c I don't plan on being pg again!)

I read on FBA that there was to be a show on ABC called Primetime: Family Secrets, about adoption and the birthmoms' experiences. I should have known it would be overwhelming, b/c just reading the description on ABC's website had me crying. Well, the breaking of the Hoover Dam couldn't have produced more water then my bawling when I watched in on my TIVO yesterday morning. Oh Wow. All the emotions surrounding J*'s birth - the months of waiting for him to be born, the day we met him, the next day waiting for the call that the TPR had been signed, and those first precious moments with him - all came zooming back to my brain with a fury. I'm SURE I would have cried even if I wasn't pg, but the pile of used tissues next to me on the couch was a bit embarassing to me when hubby came into the room and saw them. He almost panicked that something was wrong!

About the show . . . other than the non-PC terms the announcer used to describe some things ("gave up the baby", etc), I thought it was good. It really captured the emotional process the birthmothers cycle through during such a difficult time (it showed pg, birth, placement, and 3 years later).

So J* just turned three. Its three years later, and I often wonder how his birthmom is doing. I send pics and letters, but rarely hear from her. Watching this show, it reminded me of how aloof she was when J* was born, and when she handed him to me for the first time. The whole time we were at the hospital when she was there, she was just going about like nothing had happeneded, like she hadn't even given birth. I thought maybe that was her coping mechanism, but in speaking to the agency director during the next week while waiting for ICPC to clear, I asked how she thought M* is handling it. She confirmed that there was very little emotion regarding the whole birth and placement. It may have had to do with her dad being ill the weeks leading up to J*'s birth, and his death 3 days after that. It could have been related to her already placing a baby for adoption 8 years earlier . . .who knows.

It is interesting to me that in watching that TV show, I actually longed for J*'s birthmom to have shown a bit more emotion at the time. I guess I wanted to know that she loved him, but was making a choice to give him a better life, not that she was disposing of a problem, KWIM??

Thursday, July 26, 2007

35 weeks 2 days

Quite a big change from 2 weeks ago. Somehow it doesn't look so enormous when its under a shirt . . .

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

35-week Appointment Update

All is well . . . BP fine, weight up to 19 lbs total gain, measuring great, HR strong. The baby may have moved again, as the doc couldn't feel a head down in my pelvis this week. So I get an u/s at next week's appointment!

I go weekly now, so next Tuesday they will do the u/s, the Group B Strep culture, and my first internal exam! I am sure my cervix will be shut tighter than a bank vault since I haven't had any contractions at all, but it'll be good to know where we are starting from. My acupuncturist said to see her starting at 37 weeks to help start dilation . . . she says she's never had a patient go past her due date if they get acupuncture starting at the right time. I'm all for that!

Had a small nesting session on Sunday morning . . . dismantled and cleaned out the fridge. So NOT me. Maybe there really is something to this nesting thing, although I haven't had any urges to clean since.

Only drama of the day was after my appointment, my car battery was dead in the ob's parking lot. And it was raining. Joy. My FIL was close by, so he came and gave my car a jump. Hubby got a new battery last night and installed it already. It takes emergencies to get anything done on time in case you hadn't noticed.

Oh, and the construction has graduated to sanding and priming the walls as of Sunday. Hubby says he'll have the painting done this weekend, and then the floor can be sanded, stained, and finished. Uh, yeah, won't hold my breath!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Checking in . . .

Not much going on this week, so this post will be a bit of everything:

Construction update . . . still constructing. Don't even ask.

I think I am getting carpal tunnel syndrome. My wrists and lower forearms hurt and my hands are a bit weak. Hope it doesn't get too bad that it will affect my driving to work. Hmm, could that get me early disability??

I had overwhelming muscle pain on Friday night and Saturday. So much so, that I actually made my first off-hours call to the ob on Saturday morning. Lucky as I am, the annoying partner was on call, and it sounded like I woke her up at 8:30am. Oh well. I explained that every muscle and most joints in my body were sore, like I had ran a marathon or something. I was worried that it was a systemic infection of some sort. She said it sounded viral or flu-like, and that if it didn't resolve in 24-48 hours, she'd be happy to see me in the office on Monday. I thought she was brushing me off. Well, about 4 hours later, I had a fever of over 100 . . . she was right. I felt better in about 36 hours. Darn. One for her.

My upper back (between my shoulder blades) and my entire belly are plain sore . . .Dr. Google says its from my ribs flaring to make room for my expanding uterus. Next up is hip-widening . . . ooh, the anticipation! Get your front row tickets for that one now, ladies, 'cause this ain't gonna be pretty!

I attended the infamous baby shower the monster-in-law planned for the cousin . . . you know, the one she didn't think I deserved? Yeah, that one. Anyway, I sucked it up and played the good girl. Hubby owes me big time.

So, do you all have any complaining you want to do here? I feel badly its all coming from me!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Another big OUCH!

Do you all remember me complaining how big my belly was at 24 weeks, and how much it hurt? Remember this post ? Well, don't I feel silly now. That couldn't have hurt . . . look at me now. THIS HURTS! I am sore from sleeping last night . . . my ribs hurt.

Just remind me about these pics when I am complaining at 40 weeks!!

33 weeks and 3 days . . .

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Making it all seem real . . .

Latest update: had a scan on Friday (when this pic was taken), and it appears my placenta has moved clear from my cervix. Happy and sad at the same time. Happy that everything is alright, and I am of all restrictions. Sad b/c I had sorta resigned myself to having a c-section at 38 weeks, meaning I only had 5 weeks left. Now I have to give BIRTH! Yikes, I am not mentally prepared for that. Sigh. Guess I am getting what I wished for in the beginning of all of this . . . to experience pg and all that comes with it!

Had my 33 week ob appointment yesterday. Pressure remains 100/60, total weight gain 17 lbs, fetal heartbeat and measurements all right on. Next appointment in 2 weeks.

Monday, July 09, 2007

My baby is three! sniff . . .sniff . . .

I cannot believe I am a mommy to such a big boy! Tomorrow is his actual birthday, but yesterday was his party. I am exhausted. We had about over 52 adults and kids for a pool party and BBQ. My feet and back hurt so badly last night, they felt like they were burning. Yes, I overdid it . . . but yes, it was worth it. My baby is three! Happy birthday to my dear, sweet boy! We love you!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Construction Update

So, the local painter wanted $1000 to finish the sheetrock, tape, spackle and paint. Uh . . . no. The room is literally only 9x11! Hubby is currently at home depot buying more supplies. He put up 75% of the sheetrock yesterday, working 10am-9pm on his day off. I'd feel sorry for him, if he didn't get himself in this situation in the first place! So it'll be about 2 weeks before its finished, but it'll be much cheaper. Here are some pics . . .

PS - we are pretty set on a name, but its still hush, hush. Jen, if i see you on 8/5, I'll spill it! Hopefully that's incentive enough to meet!

Monday, July 02, 2007

Better late than never?

I don't have the answer yet. I don't know why my husband waited 31 weeks and 5 days to start the needed renovations on the boys' room, but Saturday he seemed to think he had waited long enough. So he started ripping out the sheetrock in the room to better insulate the walls, replace the sheetrock and re-paint.

Our house was built in the 1950's and used to be a "weekend" home (or beach house) for the original owners. Yes, that means there was tin-foil insulation in the walls, and the past several owners brilliantly wallpapered over wallpaper (perhaps over more wallpaper) throughout the house when redecorating. So it all has to go. When we bought the house, we replaced the sheetrock in some rooms, but not J*'s room, as I gave up for the sake of time (we were living with said MIL for 5 months between closings and renovations). Need I say more? You get the drift.

J*'s room turned out to have several holes in the outside walls behind the poorly insulated sheetrock from an awning that had originally been attached to the house and since torn down. No wonder its freezing in the winter, and hot even with a/c on! Problem solved . . . except that hubby starts off home improvements great, but lacks the tenacity to finish within a time frame. Luckily, ironically, he bumped into a painter we know at Home Depot, so he is coming tonight to give a quote on finishing it.

Hubby is glad he started said project, b/c he found several very old baseball cards inside the walls, which distracted him to the internet to find out if they're worth anything. Considering 48 hours later we still own this piece of shit house, you can guess the answer to that one!