Friday, March 30, 2007

Tying up loose ends . . .

Got my 2nd trimester sequential screen results: all negative! Put that together with the 1st trimester screen, which was negative, and that means no reason for an amnio! We weren't planning to have one anyway, unless something was really wrong, but its nice to know there isn't! Level 2 u/s Friday, April 6th and next OB appt Monday, April 9th.

Finally wearing all maternity clothes and am so much more comfortable. I saw my naked thighs in a full-length mirror this morning (am at a hotel for a conference -don't have a full-length at home) and yikes, they are gross. I guess I got away without exercising long enough. It was a nice vacation from the obsessive planning of when and where to exercise that I have been dealing with since my teens, but time to get real. I need to wear a bathing suit if I am gonna make it through the summer. Plus, labor is supposed to be easier if you're in good shape, right? Come on, someone give me some encouragement!

No, no names yet. Want to make sure he is still a boy at next week's ultrasound. I've also been holding back at really believing this all will turn out ok, with a healthy baby at the end, so didn't want to pick a name and get more attached. If you've been through IF, you'll get what I mean.

No kicks yet either. Today I'm 18w4d. they better come soon! I sometimes feel a few tickles low down, but still could be gas. I am trying to be patient!

Still dealing with constipation and nasal /sinus congestion. I guess this is the hand I was dealt for pg. I'll take it. I always hated throwing up.

Monday, March 26, 2007

He cracks me up

My son is so amusing. He keeps me laughing at all moments. I just can't get enough of him!

Last night, we had steak for dinner. J* started eating before we did, and the steaks weren't done, so he asked for chicken. Once we sat down with our plates, of course he wanted some, so he starts spearing the piece on my plate. Hubby cut him a few bite sized pieces and he digs in. He spit out a piece declaring, "this is too spicy, Dad"(apparently he got a piece with a good dose of Montreal Steak Seasoning on it). SPICY? Where did he learn the word spicy, AND the correct use of it?? We looked at each other and just burst out laughing. This is the kid whose pediatrician was concerned about his lack of speech at 15 months. HA!

Since he turned two, he's been using words like "dangerous", "California", and "triceratops". Such a mouthful for little guy, but he spits out the words and keeps going? I just had to write about it, so I didn't forget this gem.

On friday, my girlfriend picked J* up at daycare for the first time, to save me time so that I could go straight from work to her house for a playdate/dinner. I was worried he wouldn;t cooperate or be upset, but he did great. Apparently the car conversation went something like this . . .

E: J*, what is your baby brother's name going to be?
J: Doo-Doo Doo-Doo! (his standard response for a month now).
E: And where is he going to live when he comes?
J: With the other Doo-Doo Doo-Doo's.

I'm sure some swerving and hysterical laughter occurred at that. What a pip!!!

The other amusing situation is the potty-training. Since that one weekend of trying out the big-boy underwear, we haven't pushed much. Over the past few weeks, he has asked to pee standing up, like Daddy, and will now go voluntarily 2-3 times a day. Sometimes, he'llk jsut march right in and take down his pants. Its a bit messy, as he has no aim, but hey, he's interested. Don't know if he's more interested in the Heshey's Kiss he gets for peeing though. Thanks, Daddy. Not.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I see no difference

except maybe he is climbing a bit higher?

Saturday, March 17, 2007

So the worst part of pregnancy so far is . . .

?? What was/is it for you??

The 1st trimester was not bad for me . . . . nausea and tiredness, but not horrible. Really. I got off easy. The constipation . . . that was bad. Sleep . . . what is that again? I fall asleep fine, but after 4 hours, I wake and then toss and turn until morning. I know my mind is racing, which is definitely most of it, but there must be more to the insomnia too.

Second tri (well, all 3 1/2 weeks of it) is going well. The nausea disappeared in one instant a few days before 13 weeks. The tiredness lessened more gradually. Oh make no mistake . . . I'm still very tired, just not falling down exhausted at 7pm anymore. I can make it till 9pm now. Rock on.

The constipation is still bad, but its not surprising since its been a lifelong issue anyway. Acupuncture was working well, but at this point I can't justify $70 a pop for a poop. No thanks.

I'm dealing with the worst congestion now, which is in my sinuses and giving me a headache. I can take Flonase, but its not helping. I have had a dull headache and stuffed nose/sinuses for 3 weeks now. That's hurting my sleep too. Any suggestions?? BTW, hot compresses didn't help. Saline spray doesn't help.

What was/is the worst complaint of pg for you?? And to my friends who are moms through adoption, or not moms yet whether adopting or doing IF treatments, I'm sorry this post is pg-focused. But, what helps you poop???

Friday, March 09, 2007

Meant to be

Our profile was posted on Miracles Waiting for awhile, but we did not have many inquiries. I started getting more bold and would query donor ads as they were posted. I chatted with a few donor couples through email, but nothing worked out. We went ahead with IVF #2 with our own goods, adding ICSI to the mix, to see what really is the problem . . . eggs not fertilizing or just plain rotten eggs. I was put on the pill for 6 weeks to quiet my ovaries and recruit follies all of the same size, with the plan they would all grow together and all be mature at the same time. Uh, yeah. More on that later. While I was on BCPs, a donor ad appeared on MW that caught my eye. It had "matched" next to it for awhile, but this day, that wording was gone. I emailed. I waited. I got a reply! That was May 23rd, 2006.

The donor mom responded by saying they had been matched but the recipients changed their mind. This was actually the second match that didn't work out, so they were very cautious/reserved about even trying to find a match again. Of course, we are so thankful that they did! We emailed for about 2 weeks, and then made plans to meet the following month, in mid-July.

In the meantime, we went ahead with the IVF cycle, even though we had no hope in it, and wre so excited to blessed with embryos from such a wonderful family. The stimming part of the cycle went really slowly, as they were trying to push me longer to get more eggs to maturity. that did't work. They retrieved 20 eggs that cycle, 9 of which were mature, but 8 fertilized with ICSI. We had 8 embryos!! Hope returned . . . for about 36 hours, when we got a call the day before the scheduled 3-day transfer that the embryos "weren't doing as well as expected" and not to get our hopes up. We were cancelled the morning of transfer again. It hurt a bit, but not much, since I already had my heart attached to these frozen embryos and their family. Timing was good too, since we were cancelled at the end of June, and had our meeting with the donor family all set for 2 weeks later.

Our family of three spent the day with their family of 4 at the Mystic Aquarium on July 16th, and we all hit it off right away. It was so right. We were matched!

16 week appointment update

Short and sweet, meaning all is well. HR was strong (150's). BP was fine, fundal height measuring right on, up 2 pounds overall (their scale says 3 1/2, but I like to go by mine - wink!). Got my requisition to schedule the level 2 ultrasound, and the lab slip to do my final sequential screen test. Next appointment at 20 weeks!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you all gone to www.MiraclesWaiting.org yet?? Have you told a friend, spread the word? Embryo adoption is an unknown option, and it has made our dreams come true, so I feel passionate about informing others. Thanks for reading, and helping to spread the word if/when you can. If anyone is considering this option, go to http://www.ivfconnections.net/board/forumdisplay.php?f=58 to bond with others going through the process. It helped me tremendously.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Belly progression . . .

















Is that me???

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Embryo adoption . . . the story behind this pregnancy

Yes, my children are both adopted. My son is from Florida, and this kiddo in the making is from New Hampshire. We live in CT. We were matched with J*'s birthmother on March 17, 2001 and he was born on July 10th of that year. We were matched with KITM (kiddo in the making)'s biological parents in July of 2006, and he will be born in late August 2007. J* was a fetus at the time we fell in love with him. KITM was a 2PN frozen embryo, stored deep in a lab for about 9 years. We fell in love with him before he was even defrosted, or implanted, or had a heartbeat. J* and KITM were meant to be our children. Its just so obvious to us now.

As I mentioned before, we adopted J* after 4 failed IUI attempts, and broken hearts many times over. We didn't pursue IVF because of the out-of-pocket expense, my marginal psychological health, and for the sake of our marriage. Our beautiful son arrived, and I was over the IF stuff. I thought I had moved on.

Well, those that know me well enough, know that money is a big motivator (or deterrant in some cases) to do things. I started a new job in July of 2005, and oops, it had IVF insurance coverage. Jen/Meddlingkidd may remember our talk in the mall when we met that Spring about me taking this job. I flat out said I was taking it to get pg. And if it didn't work, we'd adopt, since this company also gives $10k reimbursement of adoption expenses. Of course, that fact that it was my dream job, and I love it really took a back seat to all this!

So, after starting the job in July, we did our first IVF in October of 2005. We were so naive. We were so hopeful. At retrieval, we were told I made 26 eggs! Perfect! Even the post-op nurse said we'd probably have a 5-day transfer. Well . . . not! Only 11 eggs were mature, only 2 fertilized, and they both died the morning of day 3. Cycle over right before Thanksgiving. Ouch.

After that horrendous cycle, I knew in my heart that my eggs were shit, and that was the ultimate cause of the IF. I'm fine with that. We'd adopt. At least we tried IVF, and had an answer.

Well, somewhere in my research to find a new domestic agency, I came across Embryo Adoption. I read an article, then another. I asked questions . . . and Jen/Earthchild (who I credit with all of this) told me she did it at her clinic in Long Island, and gave me great advice, and their phone number. I called right away, and got an appointment for a consult in January. There was no wait for embryos, so we chose our donors, and cycled in March. We had two beautiful blasts transferred, but unfortunately, it was a BFN. Bigger Ouch.

After contemplating whether to try again, all of a sudden there was a waiting list for embryos. So I put our name down just in case. I began looking for other sources of embryos, and found the answer . . . www.miracleswaiting.org. That's how we found KITM.