don't know what to do

J* has really changed over the past 6 months, and I am finally worried enough to have called the doctor at 4:40 pm this evening.

He is explosive. He is angry. He is getting more violent. He is scaring me.

It started out as little outbursts that weren't so bad. We actually thought he was just tired or hungry. We thought maybe he was supressing fear of starting Kindergarten. We thought he was just a brat.

But the outbursts have gotten worse. It definitely stems mostly from jealousy over ANY attention given to Coop (even diaper changes and necessary attention like that). But now it stems from unbelievably mundane things.

The other day, hubby announced it was time to get dressed for school the other morning. J* flipped out, said NO! and kicked him in the nuts. Yes, really.

This afternoon, he was watching an episode of a Cartoon Network show on my laptop, and the screen saver came on after about 10 minutes, but before his show was over. He got aggravated (so quickly, as if a switch was thrown), and started grunting and kicking. Hubby fixed the computer, but he grunted more, unsatisfied in the solution to the visible problem. We asked what was wrong, and all this kid would do was grunt and kick for about 20 minutes. I got overwhelmed and went upstairs to call the doctor, but hubby stuck with it and tried to get him to verbalize his feelings. No go.

This went on, with J* rolling on the floor, grunting and kicking, until he came across a catalog for Halloween costumes. He picked it up and began looking through it. Episode over. Switch flipped.

We realize we have not been handling things right in the past, by punishing him for the kicking or the acting out. Or we'd take away a toy, or turn off the tv or -insert punishment here-. We've tried to bribe him with promises of candy and toys. But it all hasn't worked.

So now I'm reading "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It seems so logical and sensible, but in our effort to employ the ideas of the book in handling J* this afternoon, we failed miserably.

I'm upset and scared. What is really wrong?

Overdue update

We had an utterly unbelievablly fantastic time with Coop's bio-fam. Lovely. Memorable. Touching. Fun.

Here's a pic of Coop and his bio-sibs, who were all created on the same day in the same petri dish back in 1997. But they are 9, 6, and 2 years old. And they all have their own look, right?

upcoming fun!

We are having special guests for the weekend! Cooper's bio-family are coming down for the weekend to visit us, and take a trip to the Statue of Liberty! Since we are very bad local tourists, both me and the hubs have never been (despite being born and raised within 45 minutes of the statue). Needless to say, we are all going together. We are excited!

In other news, J* has started Tae Kwon Doe this week. He's really enjoying it! And we are hoping for some energy outlet, and learning of discipline and respect. He has gotten quite difficult in the past weeks . . . perhaps the thought of Kindergarten is overwhelming him?

Here is my big boy, on graduation day from Pre-K.

Five Years

Five years ago today, about this time of the evening, we got the call. M* was in labor, and we had to get to Florida pronto. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday. He was born 11:50pm, but we weren't there. We met him about 11 hours later when we walked into that hospital room and fell in love.

Five years later, that love has exploded into immeasurable amounts.

Happy Birthday big boy!

First picture with mommy:

The first "moment" . . . .

of way too many, I'm sure.

One of J*'s 2nd cousins told him he's adopted.

Not such a big deal, but J* didn't understand the word in the context. I wasn;t there, so don't now the situation. I was at a bridal shower and hubby was working. J* was with my FIL and the men of that side of the family at my in-laws pool while we were trapped at bridal shower hell ;)

This 8 year old boy is certainly not malicious or mean in any way I have ever seen, so I don't even know how it came up. My FIL actually didn't tell me until today (saturday, and the shower was last Sunday). The boy said it to J* and J* went to his grandpa to ask why he said it.

My heart broke the instant I heard this.

How many times after this first moment will he have to deal with such a question? It takes my breath away.

Now, it really was just a mishap that J* didn't understand the boy's meaning. J* knows he grew in another woman's tummy. He even knows her name by heart. He mentions her a lot. He knows what state he was born in. He knows his brother came from NH too. He knows the situation . . . just not the word. ADOPTED.

So we talked about it tonight. He understands its just another word for what he has always known. The truth. Just not the label.

An he had the perfect answer to my question of what would he say if someone asked him/told him that again?

"DUH! Of course! My mommy and daddy chose me!"

I love every single morsel of that kid.

true momma

you know you're truly a momma when you give up front row Yankee tickets so your 4 1/2 year-old son can go to a baseball game with his grandpa.

I'm so grown-up!

words, they come a-tumbling

The Coop brings home a new word every day now! Horse! Nose! Fruit! Pasta! Manny! (Handy Manny if you're curious).

And he is connecting things in that adorable little brain of his . . . he points to the stainless coffee cup and says Dada! He points to the ratty slippers by door and says Mama! Brilliant, I say!

And of course he can now connect words too - that little overachiever! More bubbles! No Mama! Bye bye Dada! And, of course, MORE PASTA!

It's me!

I guess I suck even more than I thought! I haven’t made a blog post in over two months. So sorry! (not that anyone is even still reading . . . .)

But if anyone is still checking in on us, you’re in luck! I started my new (old) job last week, and now I can blog again. Actually, its all I can do. Most of the internet is blocked . . . so I can’t Facebook, Ravelry, shop, visit message boards, see Flickr pictures, or look up most other things. BUT, I can blog in Microsoft Word and post it when I get home. So that’s the plan.

Now, on to the interesting stuff! Today is a big day in our house! J* is registering for Kindergarten! And . . . Cooper starts his first day in the big boy room at daycare! Wow, both my boys are getting so big. If you know me, then you know I am quite happy about this. The baby stage is just so hard for me for some reason.

It looks like Coop will be moving to a big boy bed soon too. He refuses to go to sleep in his crib, and if we move him in there after he falls asleep, he screams his head off if he wakes up in the night, and is inconsolable until you bring him to a bed or the couch. Sigh. I have failed twice as this sleep thing. Oh well, at least they eat vegetables, right?

Cooper got a real haircut yesterday too. Now he really looks like a big boy. No more curls! But it looks so much better. Before, he looked like a mad scientist by the afternoon with those curls sticking up! Hopefully I can post a picture later.