Sunday, December 31, 2006

Got another scan . . .

So, as you can read in my last post, Dr. Not So Nice really pissed me off. I started stressing more and more after Friday's scan, and especially when the Dartmouth nurse wanted us to drive up there for the next scan.

I sent my primary RE an email Saturday morning expressing my concerns and unhappiness. He is the Top Dog RE at the clinic, so I figured why not start with him? Well, he emailed me back at 9:45 am from his vacation on Florida, and arranged for me to go back today and get better taken care of! Have I ever told any of you that I think he is great? He has the reputation of not being so caring, "bad bedside manner" some say. Its not that, he's just a little nerdy and doesn't converse easily. For some reason, I can get him going, which makes him remember me. I ask lots of questions with serious medical terms, then make a joke. That works for me!

Back to the scan . . . so we went back today and Dr. Not So Nice was not there, which I knew from Dr. Nerdy. Dr. New Guy was on, and his reputation hasn't been so great either, but I have to say he was FABULOUS. He knew the whole story, as my RE (his boss) sent him an email from vacation too, to take special care with measurements, take your time, answer our questions, and give us a picture.

So now we are proud owners of a sonogram picture of Little Blob. Measures at 5w5d which is great he said, although I am 5w6d. He explained since the measurements are so small, they can be off as much as 6-7 days! No heartbeat yet, but that is not expected (but secretly hoped for) for development at this stage. I will probably go back on 1/8 for the last scan (would be 7w0d then), and we pray there is a heartbeat, so we can be released to my Gyn, and pretend we are normal. Uh, yeah, right!

Friday, December 29, 2006

Its a baby!

Or, a tadpole at least! One lovely little blob on the screen this morning!! I was so nervous, I couldn't sleep all night, and was ready to vomit by the time we got to the waiting room. Kind of annoyed that the RE had the wand in for all of 17 seconds, and didn't even measure anything. He was brushing off my questions too. All he said was that "it's a singelton pregnancy in the uterus and all looks good for how early it is. Congratulations." Thanks, jerk. And I owe you $400 for that? Please be reminded that this was not the RE who did the donor transfer cycle, which was in NH. This was a random RE from my local clinic who is just doing monitoring for me. Still, a little attention for maybe a full minute might be nice!

Yes, I have already left messages trying to find somewhere else to go for next scan in 7-10 days. Otherwise, we can drive 4 1/2 hours to NH in the dead of winter. Hmm, any preference?

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Christmas fun!

We had a wonderful Christmas Eve with my family, and a crazy Christmas Day with my in-laws. It was crazy b/c it was 3 people, but we had fun. We are overwhelmed with toys, but we'll hide some away for now, so save for those times of boredom.

We told our families about the pregnancy . . . yes, it may be a bit premature, but we decided to celebrate it, whether or not it continues. This is our only chance to ever be pg, so we enjoyed sharing the news on Christmas just like I always dreamt of all these years. At least we had that.

Still feel un-pregnant and very worried. Three days until u/s at 5w5d. More waiting!

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Bundle of nerves

Holy cow, this anxiety is intense!! I woke up yesterday morning feeling great . . . as in not yucky like I felt the day before . . . as in not pregnant anymore. Just had that feeling, you know? Had my last beta drawn at 7am and started the long 5 hour wait for the call . . . isn't there a quicker way? They should make home-serum-beta tests for us wackos. Anyway, thank you Jenn for trying to keep me calm, but that is an impossible task on a good day.

FINALLY they call at 1:30 (yes, even later than I expected so freaked out more), and beta was 1253. Didn't double. Didn't even rise by the minimum 66%. My heart sunk. For no reason. The nurse assures me its fine, that the number is so high above average for my dpo anyway, that she is not worried. She said it could be because my blood was drawn and hour earlier than Wednesday's test. Or it could be 3 reducing to 2 or 2 reducing to one. She was excited to schedule my ultrasound for next Friday. No more betas. Boo hoo.

So I run to the internet and hit my trusty beta-doubling-time calculators I have bookmarked, and start to assess the damage. Would love to make a beautiful excel spreadsheet for all of you to follow along, but I just don't have the energy at the moment. What I figured out is this:
  • Every website says something different. Some say betas should rise at least 66% in 48 hours, others say they should double in 48-72 hours.
  • Everyone website calculates differently . . . some give you doubling time in hours, some in days (with an annoying decimal), and one fab website actually graphs you results in comparison to "average". Like that one a lot.
  • Every website has different beta "averages". Can't they work together?
  • Every message board has horror stories with good betas, and miracle stories with low, non-doubling betas. They discuss vanishing twins, miscarriage, bleeding, etc, in comparison to rising or non-rising betas. Point being, I need to stop reading.
What did I learn to help me relax a little? Not a whole heck of a lot. But the common finding is that 1253 at 18dpo is pretty darn high. So that's what I'm going with. For now.

**Edited to add what I found on PubMed . . . gotta love online access to medical journals through my job!

I found a study that looked at beta HCG levels at 12dp3dt and predictability of pregnancy outcome. It showed that my beta levels were 97% predictive of ongoing pregnancy. Phew!!

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

third beta in!

They took forever to call today . . . a full 2 hours later than the other days, so I immediately think something is wrong. Thankfully, not yet. Beta at 13dp3dt is 769, E2 was 233 and P4 was 34.7. I have one more blood draw on Friday, and if all is good, we'll be scheduled for an u/s to see what's brewing in there. Anybody want to place any bets? I know a good bookie.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Things I want to remember . . .

I am 4 weeks and 1 day pregnant, so this can really go either way at this point. There are some things I want to remember in any case.

I made first contact with our donor mom on May 27th, 2006. We corresponded through email for awhile, and then our families met on July 16th at the Mystic Aquarium. We hit it off right away.

We decided to use their clinic in New England (4 1/2 hours from us) to do the transfer. We met with their doctors on Sept 12 and 13th, along with our donors who also had appointments on those days.

Transfer was on Dec 7th, 2006. Of the 5 embryos, 3 of them made it to transfer. One was a 7-cell, grade B, another was a 4 cell, grade A-, and the last was a 5 cell, grade C. We went for broke and transferred all. I had my first + hpt ever in my life on December 14th at 6dp3dt. I had felt really nauseated that morning, and again in a cab crosstown in the afternoon, so I thought "maybe". I took a test at 4pm after I got home and it was so very lightly positive. I doubt the nausea was a symptom, since I think implantation was that morning or during the preceding night. Who knows.

My initial beta was 115 on 9dp3dt and then more than tripled to 370 on 11dp3dt. I go tomorrow morning for beta number 3, and will find out the numbers after 12 noon. I haven't had any other symptoms except some cramping (very much like Af cramps when you are about to bleed) since 8dp3dt. And I am hungrier and not in the mood for my usual foods. Strange.

Welcome to my world . . .

After years of trying to not get pregnant, and then over 5 1/2 years of trying everything in the book (and some things that weren't), we are expecting our second (and maybe third) child. Our first child, a beautiful son, came to us through traditional domestic adoption. We met him when he was 11 hours old, and has been with us ever since. He is 2 1/2 now, and his name is Jackson.

We have a semi-open adoption with Jax's birthmom, M*. We met her once during the pregnancy, and again at the brith. She definitely beats to her own drum, so we hear from her through random calls to my cell, or the rare letter to our PO Box. I'm sure I'll get to describing more about her life and our relationship as this blog develops.

My son is a ham! He is running around our family room at the moment saying the snow monster is coming into the house! Hurry! Run! He is constant entertainment!

So traditional domestic adoption is understandable, but what is embryo adoption, you ask? Well, its just what it sounds like. We adopted another couple's frozen embryos that were created during their IVF cycle. They had two children from this batch of embryos, and have decided they will never use these embryos to add o their family. They have given us the opportunity to get pregnant with their embryos and raise any resulting children as our own. It is a true gift. Its a miracle. I'm pregnant!