Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Ummmmm, DUH!

Sorry I haven't been in more touch, but I have officially lost it. The sleep deprivation caused insomnia, which in turn led to anxiety attacks. Sunday afternoon I almost went to the ER, b/c I felt like I was losing my mind. Hubby was great, and let me cry it out, but I went to the DR on Monday and yes . . . I have been diagnosed with post-partum anxiety/depression. How I didn't see that coming I have no idea . . . its been coming on for weeks. And I've been a horrible mom to J* and C*,and that makes me cry more when I think about it. Now I am mad at myself for not getting help sooner, b/c the meds (prozac) will take 6 weeks to 3 months to work. In the meantime, I have Ativan to knock me out at night, and poor Hubby is on his own. Its hell at our house.

Oh, and I have to stop breastfeeding which is good and bad. I'm sad I can't continue, but it has been very
stressful for me for some reason. I had plenty of milk . . . I guess the every 2-3 hours thing was adding to the sleep deprivation. And I was stressed about pumping enough milk for Hubby to have enough to feed once in the night. Anyway, i am weaning this week, and trying to enjoy our last nursing sessions together. And BTW, formula really smells something awful!! I had forgotten about that!

Thanks for listening . . .

7 comments:

Miracle Mommy said...

Don't worry about not seeing the PPD coming on. I had it with Kaelyn and didn't get help until she was about 7 months old!!!! So, you're doing good! I hope that the meds kick in quickly. (((HUGS))) We're here for you.

Kate said...

Being a mom is HARD. You're doing the right thing and taking care of you. That is important. Lots of hugs to you and the fam!

mwburdick said...

(((HUGS))) Suz I'm sorry things have been so ruff, I wish I lived closer to help you :(
You are getting help and that's what matters.
Love you sweetie!

azjenn said...

You know that I know exactly how you feel and that I'm here for you. Here's hoping that we are both on the road to feeling like ourselves again. ((HUGS))

Luann said...

Oh honey I hope you're feeling better soon. Be careful with the Prozac. I know from personal experience it can make your symptoms worse. I had to switch to Paxil.

Ali said...

So sorry that you are going thru a rough time. I am glad that you got to the Dr. so soon. Don't feel bad for one minute. It is not your fault. Anyone I know that starts on these drugs I always tell them if you feel really strange and just not right on them after two weeks then you need to change them. Take this from experience and not the right medical care. There are many different kinds of these drugs and I had to go thru 3 different ones before I found one that didn't make me completely nuts.

Hope you are feeling better sooner than you think

Diva Mom Vicki said...

Awww, sweetie! Gosh it never occurred to me about PPD! I'm glad you saw a doctor and got some meds - PPD is a bitch!

Is there anything you can do in the meantime before the meds start to work? Get some help at home? Hire a housecleaner to take some stress off? Get meals delivered? Don't be afraid to ask for help!