I almost gave up.

Really. I almost did. Saturday night was lousy. J* had the fever and I just couldn't let him scream, so I laid down with him. He fell asleep OK with me there, but woke several times during the night. Yes, I stayed with him, um, you know, b/c of the fever.

Sunday night, we were at the inlaws late watching the Giants game, and he fell asleep in the car on the way home, and stayed asleep when I carried him in, so that night doesn't count.

Last night, I almost bagged it b/c I was alone again, and Cooper was cranky and had a cough. I thought Cooper was asleep at 8pm and went to read J* his night time stories, but Coop kept waking. I kept leaving J* in his bed to tend to Cooper, and J* did the standard crying he did when I started this whole CIO thing. I unintentionally let him cry for 30 while feeding Cooper, so when I went back up to check on him, he was ready to sleep. I sat for a minute while he stopped crying, and I said I'd be back when Cooper was done, but . . . he fell asleep!

I was in Cooper's room holding him and rocking in the glider as he fell asleep in my arms. I realized this was the first time I rocked him in that glider since he was BORN! I am so consumed with J* at night, that hubby has put Cooper down almost every night. I've never even had the CHANCE to rock Cooper. Here he is, now 4 1/2 months . . . my last baby . . . and I just held him for so long watching him sleep in my arms.

J* needs to sleep on his own for his own good. Its time. I need him to, so I don;t go mad. And Cooper needs him to also, so he can be a baby and be rocked by Mommy.

So, I didn't give up after all. My boys both need attention, and they both will get it.