And at this time right now . . .

. . . on 12/7/06, I was laying on the exam table just after 3 embryos were put into my uterus. I had just had an acupuncture treatment before the transfer with a Chinese doctor in town, and was as relaxed as possible. Hubby and son came into the room to sit with me while I lay still for 30 minutes. J* thought I was sick and climbed up to lay with me. It was really cute.

Afterwards, I got up, got dressed, and we headed to Providence to have dinner with old friends. I had two glasses of wine and a surf and turf dinner at their house. J* watched Shrek while we chatted. Then we drove home. I was temporarily pregnant at least. Little did I know it was permanent.

This day last year . . .

Cooper and four other embryos were defrosted in a NH embryology lab. He and three others survived the thaw. He and two others continued to grow overnight.

We've come full circle . . .

Guess who came to dinner on Sunday? Cooper's DONORS!

We are so incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful relationship with them. We are truly blessed. They came with their son and daughter, and my parents and inlaws too. A day to remember, for sure. We plan to get together at least once a year, if not more. They are great people, even if they are Red Sox fans. Noone is perfect, I guess . . .

Meant to be

Our profile was posted on Miracles Waiting for awhile, but we did not have many inquiries. I started getting more bold and would query donor ads as they were posted. I chatted with a few donor couples through email, but nothing worked out. We went ahead with IVF #2 with our own goods, adding ICSI to the mix, to see what really is the problem . . . eggs not fertilizing or just plain rotten eggs. I was put on the pill for 6 weeks to quiet my ovaries and recruit follies all of the same size, with the plan they would all grow together and all be mature at the same time. Uh, yeah. More on that later. While I was on BCPs, a donor ad appeared on MW that caught my eye. It had "matched" next to it for awhile, but this day, that wording was gone. I emailed. I waited. I got a reply! That was May 23rd, 2006.

The donor mom responded by saying they had been matched but the recipients changed their mind. This was actually the second match that didn't work out, so they were very cautious/reserved about even trying to find a match again. Of course, we are so thankful that they did! We emailed for about 2 weeks, and then made plans to meet the following month, in mid-July.

In the meantime, we went ahead with the IVF cycle, even though we had no hope in it, and wre so excited to blessed with embryos from such a wonderful family. The stimming part of the cycle went really slowly, as they were trying to push me longer to get more eggs to maturity. that did't work. They retrieved 20 eggs that cycle, 9 of which were mature, but 8 fertilized with ICSI. We had 8 embryos!! Hope returned . . . for about 36 hours, when we got a call the day before the scheduled 3-day transfer that the embryos "weren't doing as well as expected" and not to get our hopes up. We were cancelled the morning of transfer again. It hurt a bit, but not much, since I already had my heart attached to these frozen embryos and their family. Timing was good too, since we were cancelled at the end of June, and had our meeting with the donor family all set for 2 weeks later.

Our family of three spent the day with their family of 4 at the Mystic Aquarium on July 16th, and we all hit it off right away. It was so right. We were matched!

Embryo adoption . . . the story behind this pregnancy

Yes, my children are both adopted. My son is from Florida, and this kiddo in the making is from New Hampshire. We live in CT. We were matched with J*'s birthmother on March 17, 2001 and he was born on July 10th of that year. We were matched with KITM (kiddo in the making)'s biological parents in July of 2006, and he will be born in late August 2007. J* was a fetus at the time we fell in love with him. KITM was a 2PN frozen embryo, stored deep in a lab for about 9 years. We fell in love with him before he was even defrosted, or implanted, or had a heartbeat. J* and KITM were meant to be our children. Its just so obvious to us now.

As I mentioned before, we adopted J* after 4 failed IUI attempts, and broken hearts many times over. We didn't pursue IVF because of the out-of-pocket expense, my marginal psychological health, and for the sake of our marriage. Our beautiful son arrived, and I was over the IF stuff. I thought I had moved on.

Well, those that know me well enough, know that money is a big motivator (or deterrant in some cases) to do things. I started a new job in July of 2005, and oops, it had IVF insurance coverage. Jen/Meddlingkidd may remember our talk in the mall when we met that Spring about me taking this job. I flat out said I was taking it to get pg. And if it didn't work, we'd adopt, since this company also gives $10k reimbursement of adoption expenses. Of course, that fact that it was my dream job, and I love it really took a back seat to all this!

So, after starting the job in July, we did our first IVF in October of 2005. We were so naive. We were so hopeful. At retrieval, we were told I made 26 eggs! Perfect! Even the post-op nurse said we'd probably have a 5-day transfer. Well . . . not! Only 11 eggs were mature, only 2 fertilized, and they both died the morning of day 3. Cycle over right before Thanksgiving. Ouch.

After that horrendous cycle, I knew in my heart that my eggs were shit, and that was the ultimate cause of the IF. I'm fine with that. We'd adopt. At least we tried IVF, and had an answer.

Well, somewhere in my research to find a new domestic agency, I came across Embryo Adoption. I read an article, then another. I asked questions . . . and Jen/Earthchild (who I credit with all of this) told me she did it at her clinic in Long Island, and gave me great advice, and their phone number. I called right away, and got an appointment for a consult in January. There was no wait for embryos, so we chose our donors, and cycled in March. We had two beautiful blasts transferred, but unfortunately, it was a BFN. Bigger Ouch.

After contemplating whether to try again, all of a sudden there was a waiting list for embryos. So I put our name down just in case. I began looking for other sources of embryos, and found the answer . . . www.miracleswaiting.org. That's how we found KITM.