Add a caption, win a prize!

This picture from last night just cracks me up. What do you think he is thinking? Best caption wins a prize! I'll make you a siggy for your message board.

Thanks everyone . . .

We are doing ok. For those who didn't know, I was on Prozac for years and years before, so we went with that since it worked really well for me.

I have hired a sitter to come from 6-9pm on Tues and Fridays when I am usually alone with the two boys. We've started formula for 1/2 the feeds and I am still BF half-time for now. I am not ready to give it up completely, and I have critically reviewed the clinical literature on transfer of Prozac or Ativan into breastmilk, and well, its inconclusive. So I will wean in my own time.

Question of the day: Can someone tell me how my 3-year old (adopted) son and my newborn (adopted embry) son inherited my husband's annoying habit of sleeping loudly? No wonder I am sleep deprived . . . everyone snores around here!

Ummmmm, DUH!

Sorry I haven't been in more touch, but I have officially lost it. The sleep deprivation caused insomnia, which in turn led to anxiety attacks. Sunday afternoon I almost went to the ER, b/c I felt like I was losing my mind. Hubby was great, and let me cry it out, but I went to the DR on Monday and yes . . . I have been diagnosed with post-partum anxiety/depression. How I didn't see that coming I have no idea . . . its been coming on for weeks. And I've been a horrible mom to J* and C*,and that makes me cry more when I think about it. Now I am mad at myself for not getting help sooner, b/c the meds (prozac) will take 6 weeks to 3 months to work. In the meantime, I have Ativan to knock me out at night, and poor Hubby is on his own. Its hell at our house.

Oh, and I have to stop breastfeeding which is good and bad. I'm sad I can't continue, but it has been very

stressful for me for some reason. I had plenty of milk . . . I guess the every 2-3 hours thing was adding to the sleep deprivation. And I was stressed about pumping enough milk for Hubby to have enough to feed once in the night. Anyway, i am weaning this week, and trying to enjoy our last nursing sessions together. And BTW, formula really smells something awful!! I had forgotten about that!

Thanks for listening . . .

We've come full circle . . .

Guess who came to dinner on Sunday? Cooper's DONORS!

We are so incredibly lucky to have such a wonderful relationship with them. We are truly blessed. They came with their son and daughter, and my parents and inlaws too. A day to remember, for sure. We plan to get together at least once a year, if not more. They are great people, even if they are Red Sox fans. Noone is perfect, I guess . . .

I did it!

Yeah me!

I got both boys to sleep by 9:15pm on Saturday night ALL BY MYSELF!! Hubby gets home from the restaurant at 2or 3am on Saturdays.

Yes, by sheer luck, C* conked out by 9pm after I tanked him up with close feedings late in the evening. Then I took J* to sleep with me in my bed . . . no, not the optimal solution, but it worked for survival mode.

Now if only I slept well that night . . . I kept checking on C* in his crib, seeing if he was cold (it was our first really cold night here), or rolling J* over so he wasn't snoring in my ear, or thinking/worrying about not falling asleep before the next feeding time. Hmm, that's insomnia, right?

Thanks for asking . . .

. . . but we are still hanging by a thread around our house. Its not worse, but not better. That's ok, we can make it through. Thanks for checking on us!

And your reward . . . a few pictures!

Opinion doesn't matter much I guess . . .

Everyone CONSTANTLY says how much Jax looks like Daddy . . . almost eerily so, given he's not bio-related. I get jealous sometimes, but its really true. He is the spitting image of him!

Well, the computer doesn't think so. I win this one!! I did this twice, with different pictures. The first time, Jax looked more like me by 3%.

The view from down here . . .

Can you all see me! I'm over here, waving, frantically! Where, you ask?

Here, at ROCK BOTTOM!!

Holy cow, I didn't think it could be worse than before, but, uh, yeah, it can. Sleep training?? Who's fucking bright idea was that?? Am I blame you guys too . . . why in the world would you encourage me to take on such a doomed feat, with a newborn and a husband who is not strong enough to battle to beast of toddlerdom?? UGH!

I got the book, The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers . . .and it makes great sense. Perfect sense even. We didn;t have an effective bed-time routine that was relaxing, and transitioning into sleep time. Jax was also probably overtired, since we put him to bed late (just based on our schedule). So we started to quiet down the evening activities, and go to bed earlier. Well, the kicking, screaming, and crying on all our parts brought me to the brink last night. I GIVE UP.

For now at least. We will just be winging it for now, until Cooper is sleeping more. Enough said.

I must have super-milk!

4-week check-up this morning and my chunk-a-lunck gained a whopping 1 lb 13 oz and 1/2 inch in two weeks! He is now 8 lbs 15 oz and 21 inches long. He is a completely different baby than the one that came out of me!

Bedtime still improving!

Jax has fallen asleep just holding our hand all 4 nights we've tried it. And he's stayed asleep, but he usually did before, except those few times since Coop's arrival. And last night, Cooper slept 4 1/2 hours straight . . . ate and slept again for 3. Hubby and I actually slept in the same bed at the same time for the first time in quite while. Seemed oddly familiar to feel his toes touching mine!

New pics . . .

Jax school pic :Mommy and baby:high five:

It can't be that easy . . .

Daddy got fed up first, so two nights ago, he got J* to fall asleep while holding his hand as he sat in a chair next to the bed. The kid was asleep in 5 minutes flat. I tried my best last night, and although it took about 30 minutes and me almost giving up and laying down with him about 72 times, he finally fell asleep. To my credit, i don't think he was tired enough to go to bed at 8:30 last night. It was 9:30 when daddy did it the night before, so there!!

I am sure I just jinxed us, but any progress needs celebration at this point, since I am so shot. Too bad my usual celebration appendage of a martini wouldn't be appropriate yet. Darn.

I used to know that word . . .

Sleep. I think that's how you spell it. I certainly can't tell you how to do it at this point. Not happening here. Its not so much the newborn-lack-of-sleep thing, but the added component of the 3-year-old not staying asleep all night. Jax has been waking in the middle of the night, throwing a wrench in the barely-working plan of DH and I trading off feedings to get some sleep. Its mayhem over here folks.

Sleep, or lack thereof, seems to be a common topic among the blogs I read these days. Thought I'd join the ranks . . .

How do you get a toddler to go to sleep on his own? Yes, its my fault to start with . . . some of you may now that Jax slept with me every night until about 7 months into the pregnancy, when I decided I'd better get my ass in gear and get this kid used to his own bed. In his new room no less. Well, he had done great until Cooper arrived, and I guess he is regressing a bit. I get that. But it doesn't solve the original problem that the kid has not gone to sleep by himself ever before. I (or DH) have always layed down with him until he falls asleep. We've tried to leave once he quiets down, but he wakes up and we start all over again. So its always been easier to either have him sleep in my bed, or stay in his bed with him until he's out. What happens there is that we usually fall asleep in his bed too. And his bed is sooooo not comfortable.

Is there a book or program from sleep-training a toddler? Any brilliant suggestions? Anyone wanna come ove rand do it for us??

2 weeks old!

Ok, that was the fastest two weeks of my entire life . . .its all a blur!

We had our 2 week checkup yesterday, and you'll never guess what Cooper gained! He's 7lbs 2oz .. up over a pound since hospital discharge. I'm so proud of both of us! The breastfeeding issues are obviously better. He latches on great now . . . and goes anywhere from 25-50 minutes a shot! Hmm, I guess that's why time has flown . . . we're always nursing! Pumping is going really well too, so at least my anxiety about keeping up with breastfeeding after going back to work is lessening. I thought I'd spend too much time pumping at work for it to be feasible, but last night I pumped almost 5 oz in 5 minutes! Everybody say MOO!

I just slept for about 6 hours too. Big ouch for the boobs, but well worth it. I pumped those 5 oz, and went straight to bed. Hubby did a feeding, so I could sleep. He also suprised me by coming home at 9pm, to help with bedtime for Jax. Told you hubby has been great! I just might keep him!

So as you can imagine, last Friday night alone with two kids didn't go that well. Coop woke and was was crying just as I was putting Jax down. I gave up after 15 min of juggling both, and we all returned to the family room, where I promptly slapped in a movie and let Jax fall asleep on the couch. Yes, I know that's Bad Parenting 101, but hey, I made it through.

OK, so if you've read this long post all the way through, you win a prize. Pictures!

Who are you, and what have you done with my husband?

I haven't spent this much time with my hubby since, um, never.

He is a restaurant manager, so he works a lot. 6 days a week, including Monday, Tuesday, and Saturday nights, when he gets home after midnight. Friday, he gets home after 9 or 10pm. We have very little social life as a result, and Sundays are reserved for family obligations and such (you know, that stereotypic Sunday Italian Family dinner is really true).

Well, hubby has been home since I went into labor on Sunday, 9/2. He went to work twice this week for a few hours in the morning, but other than that, he has been here . . . being a husband and father I barely recognize! He is truly being a great help with the Coop, pampering me as much as possible between feedings (mine and Cooper's), and taking Jackson to the park or putting him to sleep to give me a break from double duty mommying.

Its great. What the hell am I going to do tomorrow night, when he goes back to the usual schedule!?!?!

Life goes on . . .

We're settling in, and life is getting back on track. The semester has already started, and I am taking another class towards my PhD. Yes, I'm crazy, but if I don't take this required course now, its not offered until fall of 2009. SO I have homework due tonight at midnight, and yes, I'm here talking to you!

So, was I really pregnant? I feel pretty much back to normal already, although I know the hormonal plunge is yet to happen, along with the hair loss, and what-not. But right now, its hard to believe that it all happened.

Breastfeeding is still touch and go . . . he doesn't latch on right away and starts to go a little crazy. This morning, he just wouldn't do it, and it had been so long since the last feeding, I had hubby give him an ounce of formula, while I pumped. I got 2-ounces for him (very proud here!) and he sucked it right down. Thankfully the next feeding went well at the breast. Its very nerve-wracking!

He has no clothes that fit! All the newborn stuff is so big on him! I am going to Buy Buy Baby tomorrow to get 2 things in the preemie size, just so he has something to wear for visitors. I know its a waste of money . . . that's why I'm using a credit!

OK, gotta do some homework, but here's a few new pics for you!

More pics to keep you busy . ..

. . as we settle in at home. Talk to you soon.

introducing . . .

Cooper Joseph!

He arrived at 4pm on Labor Day, 9/3, at 4pm. He is 6lbs, 7oz and 18.5 inches.

We got to the hospital about 8pm on Sunday and I was only a fingertip dilated, but contractions petered out at 4 am. I was 2cm in the morning, so the ob broke my water and started pitocin at 9:15am. I lasted only until 11:30 with those pit contractions, and I needed the epidural. OMG, I really thought I was going to die with those contractions and being confined to the bed on the monitors. That was sheer torture. But, the epi was wonderful, and I progressed quickly to 10cm by 3:30pm. I started pushing at 3:45, and he was out at 4pm on the dot!

Here he is!

6 days past due . . .

And apparently my body does work! Being losing plug all day, and have had 2 hours of contractions so far, although not consistent (anywhere from 8-18 minutes apart). The parents are on call, if needed.

Just thought I'd spice up your holiday weekend!

5 days past due . . .

Status Quo!

Enjoy your Saturday!

Tick Tock . . .4 days past due

Do you have to even ask??

Just got back from OB. Cervix still closed, long, and thick. Did an u/s and fluid levels are fine. I have a non-stress test again tomorrow at the hospital. And if I'm still pg on Monday, I will meet her on the Labor unit while she is doing rounds at about 10am so she can check me again. If cervix is still pretending to be a virgin, I will check into the hospital on Monday night for "cervical ripening" and then they'll start pitocin on Tuesday morning. If by some miracle my cervix is somewhat "favorable" for induction, I will skip the Monday night step, and just show up Tuesday morning for induction.

So, at most, it will be 4 more days. Are you all up for it?? Its gonna be a loooooong and whiney weekend!!